Bell Curve

A couple days ago it dawned on me that it is a good thing that I don't have daughters! I could have passed on my curse to them. But luckily I have only boys.

Then I realized that boys can get married, and then they could have kids, and that could mean: GRANDDAUGHTERS! Oh my goodness! What if the poor things got my genes? Their parents would have no idea what was awaiting them. Should I say anything? Would I have the nerve to say anything? Would it be completely inappropriate? Oh, the dilemmas of a wild imagination.

I wish someone had warned me, though! I had no idea what was awaiting my preteen innocence as I foolishly wished for my period to start. You see, my body is not "normal."

Confirmation of what I already knew came a few years ago, after all my kids were born, and I had an appointment with a new ObGYN. "Hmm, your uterus feels a bit fat," she said. "I'd like you to get an ultrasound."

I was puzzled. What did she mean by "fat?" Was it the sign of some disease? Could it be cancer? I was a little freaked out as I hastily scheduled the ultrasound. The technician said nothing as she snapped the fuzzy black and white pictures and marked the measurements with the dotted line and I desperately tried to keep from peeing my pants.

A week or so later, the doctor called me at home. "I'm a little concerned with your ultrasound. You see, most women's uterus is between 6 and 7 centimeters long and yours is 13!"

" I see," I lied. "And what does that mean?"

"Well, I'm just concerned that it might be growing."

"And what would that do?"

"Well," she hesitated, "It could cause very heavy periods and even some clots...I'd like you to call me if that happens."

I nearly busted out laughing. "Dr. my periods have ALWAYS been like that. I don't think it's growing."

She seemed a little shocked, but relieved at the same time. I was happy to finally have an explanation for why my "Aunt Flo" stories never matched my friends. I must just fall on the edge of the bell curve. But, that brings me back to genetics....what if I pass my abnormal genes on to a granddaughter? This blog is my solution. I will write my crazy stories down - problems I've faced - solutions I've found, and if it's ever necessary I can hand a printout to my granddaughter and give her the option of reading it, or burning it unopened.

If you find that your body falls on the outer egde of the bell curve (or not) and have stories to share, questions to ask, or just comments to make - jump right in! If you find this disturbing and offensive - CLICK HERE TO ESCAPE!